Letting the Baby Stage Go

We decided pretty soon after the boys were born that we were done having children. After my pregnancy ended sooner than expected, my pregnancy induced hypertention, the boys being in the NICU and the possibility of me having twins again, we felt it was best to not have more. My mom has always said she didn't feel like our family was completed until she had my youngest sister. Once they brought her home, they were a complete family. I feel like our little family is very complete, I don't feel like we are missing a person, so this works out great for us! If God blesses us with another, of course I will love that baby just the same and I can bet I will feel VERY complete, and a bit crazy! Haha!

With that said, knowing that I am done having babies means I've had to say goodbye to baby stages as they come and then go. There is a part of me that is sad I only got to experience certain things once, but times two. Ha!  A neighbor at my mom's house (who has twins) put it perfectly. She said "when you have twins, and only twins, you go through each stage like everyone else, but you only experience it once, you are inundated with it, but you only get it once. Singleton families get to experience those baby stages a second time, third time etc". She put my thoughts into words so perfectly. I was feeling like I was missing something but couldn't put my finger on it until she said that. Of course, every family is different, some want more and can't have more, some have several, some have one, the thing is, we all go through letting the baby stage go, and it's sad.

My babies are toddlers, they need me, but not the same way as they used to. The sweet little baby noises, nursing, baby food making etc. I got it, and I got a lot of it, but I only got it once. I am okay with that! Just like when you wean your baby from nursing, there is a part of you that is sad that very hard, but very amazing part of your life and relationship with your baby is over. 

I used to stand in the kitchen and be so frustrated that making their food took me so long. Like I wasn't tired enough? Then they would go through 10 jars of baby food in what felt like 3 days! Or that nursing them took two of us to get me set up. Diapers changes took twice as long and I had two reflux babies. Those responsibilities as a mom have changed. I've had to let the baby stage go.... Now, I miss those days. I see these little babies, hanging out in their boppies or in their swings and although those first months with the boys were very hard, I miss that too. Do I want to do it again? Oh no, haha! However, I miss it a lot.

So take it in. Take in the stress, the cries, the first baby giggles, the baths, the numerous diaper and outfit changes, take in those baby moments and if and when you get to do it again, love every moment, because it goes way too fast! It is so easy to get caught up in trying to survive somedays, that it is so important to remember you will blink and these sweet babies will be big kids.

~Nicole

What it means to have twins...

So I've been wanting to write a post about what it means to have twins. I hear comments a lot that I usually take with a grain of salt, but whether or not the comments are meant to be funny sometimes the truth that is behind them can sting.

Having two babies at once is hard. I enjoy it very, very much, and my boys are the light of my life, however, having two at once make it hard for me to do "normal" mom things with my children. I'm writing this post because I actually stumbled across one similar at We Have Twins blog. I might reiterate a little of what she said because it was so spot on, and I wanted to write this so other multiple mommies know that you are not alone, with the good and more trying things ;)

From the beginning:

• Being preggers with twins means high risk immediately. 
• More ultrasounds :) woohoo! Who doesn't love seeing there baby grow? 
• More weight gain during pregnancy.
• The higher chance your littles will be premature and you'll experience the NICU
• Needing double everything (diapers, wipes, cribs, carseats, etc.)
• Getting to feel double the hiccups (my favorite thing)
• Tandem nursing (hard at first but pretty darn cool)
• Getting asked a lot of personal questions
• Hearing a lot of comments about twins 
• Two babies means more babies to hold when you have visitors
• Double diaper duty (do you have any idea how hard it is to change a diaper when your other child is grabbing at his sibling, because you have barricaded him in his crib so you know where he is at? haha! TRUTH)
• I always make sure I am giving even attention to each baby (or at least try my hardest), so no one feels left out. 
• Milestones. I have to remember that all babies are different, so just because they are twins doesn't mean they will reach every milestone the same time. 
• At times it is hard to comfort both the way I want to if they are upset. The bigger they get the less room there is on my lap for two (but we make it work)
• Watching the bond that is forming between my boys is amazing
•  The double team me! This is funny but not really...
• When I'm shopping I have to prepare to get stopped a few times for questions and comments (I don't usually mind unless I am in a hurry)
• I get a lot of strange looks when I grocery shop because lo and behold grocery stores don't have double carts, so I push the stroller and pull the cart. Everyone make way! ;) 
• I almost always have to have someone with me when I go to a place where the babies are "loose" so I have help when they run in two different directions (which is what they do)
• I haven't done mommy and me classes because I really don't think it would work for the three of us because I am only one person, this makes me sad. My sons are two completely different people needing two different types of attention and at a class I just don't have enough "me" to give both of them
• Time out with twins....lets just say is a challenge.
• Pediatrician co pays, whomp whomp
• I have TWO babies to love on all day, to love me back :)

Having twins is hard, but it is the BEST thing that ever happened to us. Through the challenges we are so blessed with two amazing, happy and healthy little boys. Nothing is every really "easy" with twins, but it's our normal and we make it work.

So there you have it. A small tidbit of what life is like with twins. These aren't meant to be negative, it's just my truth to how my life is with my boys. It's hard but worth it, and I would do it a thousand times over. 

My Little Sponges

There is nothing quite like being reminded of how you behave than watching your child throughout the day. These two boys are such little sponges. From the way I handle stressful situations, the way I socialize, to the way I show affection...they pick up on EVERYTHING.

When the babies were little if I got frustrated instead of yelling at whatever was frustrating me (a stubbed toe, getting peed on, dropping something) I would make this "hhmmmmggg" noise. Sounds funny, I know, but I figured doing that instead of yelling out loud would be better. So now, HB does this. It cracks me up because he kind of does it at not the right moment or he WILL do it at the right moment which makes me laugh even more. He won't like the way something turns out and he make the same "hmmmgg" noise and carries on. So funny.

My husband and I are very social people. If anyone strikes up a convo with us, we will engage. We love talking, especially him. In a good way :) My sons are following suit. I love it! Of course they are timid until I say "say hi" or "wave". They are very curious about other people. Although I do want them to be cautious and understand the dangers of strangers, I also want them to be friendly. If they don't want to say hi at least flashing a smile is nice. I love seeing that from my husband's and I example the boys are beginning to show an interest in knowing and engaging in people.

My favorite thing lately though is the random hugs. Oh melt my heart! HB and CJ will just randomly run up to me, give me a hug or a kiss and run on their merry way. I am so affectionate with my boys (as I know most parents are) and I feel like that feel they can give that same affection. Not just to me and my husband but to others. If CJ hears a child crying or sees someone that appears to be upset, he is sooo concerned. It is so sweet seeing their empathy and love towards people and I like to think I have something to do with that.

The last thing, but certainly in my eyes the most important. The boys have started praying. This makes my heart so happy. I have been praying with them for a long time and really wondered if they got it. One day I asked them to pray with me. Both of them put their hands together to pray. They stayed quiet as I said a prayer and when I said "In Jesus name, amen" HB tried to say amen. Insert heart eyed emoticon here. I melted and couldn't have been more proud.

It was at that moment I realized that they are taking in every single thing  we do and say. I "knew" that all along, but now I see it. And it is amazing. At the end of a stressful day, when I see their two happy, healthy and loving smiling faces, I know that I've done something right. I am so thankful for these two children of mine and so incredibly proud to be their momma.

Until next time friends! Hopefully it won't be 2 months ;)

~Nic