When Mommy Messes Up

Wow today has flown by, considering I have a head cold and have stayed in the last couple days I thought today would be rough, but these sweet boys of mine surprise me every time. They played so well all morning. I LOVE days like that!

I was able to make some phone calls, get some quotes...blah changing internet carriers is a pain! I was able to do a cute little craft for my friend's son's first birthday and set up Easter egg dying with the boys. Only...we didn't dye the eggs because once I realized the cheap plastic egg I had bought for the purpose of dying (as stated on the label) wouldn't absorb the dye, we painted. This turned out even better! The boys were so happy, and I just loved watching their faces while they were creating.

Their personalities could not be more different. CJ is clean and precise, he didn't want any white on his egg but he also didn't want to get paint all over him. While, Roo is my messy and go with the flow kid. He had paint all over his hands, it was awesome!

We used these Crayola Washable Kids Paint. You can find it here Crayola Kids Washable Paint. This stuff is so awesome. I used it for Christmas crafts this year. Cleaned up easily, goes easily onto surfaces, and mixes well! haha, see below.

Ahhh...so clean and pretty....

Do you see that messy plate in the background? My inner OCD was screaming "don't mix the colors!" But this was the best part, just watching them be creative. They were so stoked!

Our end result 

I wanted to dye eggs but when I realized that I messed up, I had to make due with what we had and the end result was better. As parents, we have these ideals of what we should be doing to keep traditions alive or to keep up with everyone else. I love to craft, but I have a hard time sitting down to craft with the boys. I get easily frustrated because I am a perfectionist, and honestly crafting or baking with kids isn't as fun as it looks sometimes. I am so happy their Easter Egg craft turned out the way it did, I got to watch and they got to be as messy as they wanted. So my "mess up" to keep an egg dying tradition alive turned into a new fun tradition of painting eggs. I'm learning to go roll with the punches ;) 

You are Beautiful

Go back to a time in your life that you felt the most beautiful or of value. When was that?

For me, my wedding day was a day I felt beautiful. My self value was placed in working, family, friendships and school.

When I became a mom, my whole world changed. I went from working woman with a degree working a nine to five,  to stay at home mom being on call 24/7. It was a huge change for me, physically and mentally. Over time, I valued myself less, I saw what other women were accomplishing and it made me happy for them, but sad for me. I was slowly losing that feeling of value on the inside. I constantly compared myself to people on IG. Well she has two kids and can do that or why don't I have the energy to workout like she does?   I LOVE being stay at home mom, but it does not come without challenges. Some women handle it wonderfully while others really struggle. I wouldn't change my circumstances, ever, but I want people, women especially, who are struggling with value and self worth to know that they are not alone.

I went through my instagram and deleted everyone I did not know. Even the ones I felt were inspirational, I would see their post and be inspired and then instantly bummed I wasn't doing the same thing in my life.  I do have to say I am in a better place now than I was even a month ago. Mentally I am not beating myself up for not being this momma who works out daily, runs her own business and keeps a working household.  Here's the thing though, God made us all so different. I don't have endless amounts of energy, some people do, and that is awesome. I am not super organized like I used to be and that's okay too. I keep my house clean, my boys fed and happy, I play with them and teach them manners. I am usually last on my roster of things to take care of but that's the season I am in.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the Heaven. 

What a great reminder that I don't have to do it all or be all right now to have value or beauty. My season is here at home, focusing on my boys, my husband and my household. I am good with that.

I am working on making time for me. Hence, this little space to share my stories, or the 20 minutes I gave myself to pump a little iron, or the nap I let myself take because I am mentally exhausted. Ladies, do what makes you happy. Love yourself. Give yourself a break that you aren't what we see all over instagram. I am not talking down on these incredible IG accounts because I think what they do is awesome, but ladies, our circumstances are different our season is different. One day you might have energy to conquer the world and the next maybe you want to sleep in and just make sure the kitchen is clean.

We need to learn to love ourselves and our seasons. Once I started to shift my focus to the fact that I am in a different season and one day I'll have my energy back I started to view myself differently. Instead of seeing this lazy, over worked and underpaid momma (aren't we all, ha!), I saw a beautiful wife, a loving friend and a devoted mother. It's not easy, but don't let what you think you aren't take away from what you really are.

You are BEAUTIFUL and you are VALUABLE.

The Rock Family

I get asked a lot if we are done having kids. As per Leif and I, yes we are. I always say if God wants us to have more then we will. However, right now we feel complete. That is a true feeling and I have many friends who don't have that feeling with their 2 or 3 or more kids, they feel that someone is missing. When we are out as a family I feel so whole. I was meant to be the mom of twin boys.

Today we were playing in the backyard and CJ made a rock family. First he collected a big rock, then a slightly smaller one and then two of similar size. I asked him who was who and he said daddy was the big rock, mommy was the smaller rock and he and his brother were the smallest rocks. He placed himself by the mommy rock and his brother by the daddy rock. My heart feels so full and so complete.