I wish these days would last

 My first hours, even days, of mommyhood were not your typical "I'm so in love with my new baby" experience. Instead I was scared, confused and sick. I didn't get to hold my son CJ until four days after his birth when I finally saw him in the NICU. I knew that I loved these babies, but I was so worried about their survival that was almost my first feeling towards them...worry. Of course it didn't take long for that love and connection that new parents talk about to kick in. It just wasn't my first reaction to parenthood. I know that sounds just awful but I think you parents of NICU babies can relate.  Leaving the hospital you walked fully pregnant into without your baby isn't really the scenario most people picture when they think of the first days of parenthood.

I remember visiting the boys and just praying to hear their cries at home. I know that crying in the middle of the night is exhausting...but I couldn't wait to have my heart back together in one piece under one roof..and if that meant hearing crying all night, so be it. Luckily my boys were awesome when we got them home. I thank the NICU nurses for getting them on a 3 hours schedule! Life saver, I tell ya! Anyways...when I got the boys home I promised myself I would savor every single moment that I got with them.

When the boys were itty bitty I really did what I could to soak up and memorize every moment, every smile, every stare. It is so easy to get swept away with the chaos and stress that a new baby brings into your life. I have to do a mental check when things do get stressful and remind myself that it won't be like this forever, I WILL miss these days with the boys. I'll miss their cries for me, the rushing around, and this baby stage. Time goes by so fast! That time of PURE EXHAUSTION??? It won't last forever. Babies are only that little for a short amount of time. Enjoy it. Yes it is hard and it is tiring, but you are the world to that sweet little life that you created. Embrace the cries, the messy diapers and the days when you can't shower, because they don't last forever, and you are blessed to have a sweet baby to love on.

I felt like writing this post because I feel like there are a lot of new parents that get so stressed they can't see the joy in having a new little baby. It is okay to feel stressed, most of my days I am! Haha! I just really do my best to see the good in the time I have with my little ones.

Until next time friends!

God Bless!