What it means to have twins...

So I've been wanting to write a post about what it means to have twins. I hear comments a lot that I usually take with a grain of salt, but whether or not the comments are meant to be funny sometimes the truth that is behind them can sting.

Having two babies at once is hard. I enjoy it very, very much, and my boys are the light of my life, however, having two at once make it hard for me to do "normal" mom things with my children. I'm writing this post because I actually stumbled across one similar at We Have Twins blog. I might reiterate a little of what she said because it was so spot on, and I wanted to write this so other multiple mommies know that you are not alone, with the good and more trying things ;)

From the beginning:

• Being preggers with twins means high risk immediately. 
• More ultrasounds :) woohoo! Who doesn't love seeing there baby grow? 
• More weight gain during pregnancy.
• The higher chance your littles will be premature and you'll experience the NICU
• Needing double everything (diapers, wipes, cribs, carseats, etc.)
• Getting to feel double the hiccups (my favorite thing)
• Tandem nursing (hard at first but pretty darn cool)
• Getting asked a lot of personal questions
• Hearing a lot of comments about twins 
• Two babies means more babies to hold when you have visitors
• Double diaper duty (do you have any idea how hard it is to change a diaper when your other child is grabbing at his sibling, because you have barricaded him in his crib so you know where he is at? haha! TRUTH)
• I always make sure I am giving even attention to each baby (or at least try my hardest), so no one feels left out. 
• Milestones. I have to remember that all babies are different, so just because they are twins doesn't mean they will reach every milestone the same time. 
• At times it is hard to comfort both the way I want to if they are upset. The bigger they get the less room there is on my lap for two (but we make it work)
• Watching the bond that is forming between my boys is amazing
•  The double team me! This is funny but not really...
• When I'm shopping I have to prepare to get stopped a few times for questions and comments (I don't usually mind unless I am in a hurry)
• I get a lot of strange looks when I grocery shop because lo and behold grocery stores don't have double carts, so I push the stroller and pull the cart. Everyone make way! ;) 
• I almost always have to have someone with me when I go to a place where the babies are "loose" so I have help when they run in two different directions (which is what they do)
• I haven't done mommy and me classes because I really don't think it would work for the three of us because I am only one person, this makes me sad. My sons are two completely different people needing two different types of attention and at a class I just don't have enough "me" to give both of them
• Time out with twins....lets just say is a challenge.
• Pediatrician co pays, whomp whomp
• I have TWO babies to love on all day, to love me back :)

Having twins is hard, but it is the BEST thing that ever happened to us. Through the challenges we are so blessed with two amazing, happy and healthy little boys. Nothing is every really "easy" with twins, but it's our normal and we make it work.

So there you have it. A small tidbit of what life is like with twins. These aren't meant to be negative, it's just my truth to how my life is with my boys. It's hard but worth it, and I would do it a thousand times over. 

My Little Sponges

There is nothing quite like being reminded of how you behave than watching your child throughout the day. These two boys are such little sponges. From the way I handle stressful situations, the way I socialize, to the way I show affection...they pick up on EVERYTHING.

When the babies were little if I got frustrated instead of yelling at whatever was frustrating me (a stubbed toe, getting peed on, dropping something) I would make this "hhmmmmggg" noise. Sounds funny, I know, but I figured doing that instead of yelling out loud would be better. So now, HB does this. It cracks me up because he kind of does it at not the right moment or he WILL do it at the right moment which makes me laugh even more. He won't like the way something turns out and he make the same "hmmmgg" noise and carries on. So funny.

My husband and I are very social people. If anyone strikes up a convo with us, we will engage. We love talking, especially him. In a good way :) My sons are following suit. I love it! Of course they are timid until I say "say hi" or "wave". They are very curious about other people. Although I do want them to be cautious and understand the dangers of strangers, I also want them to be friendly. If they don't want to say hi at least flashing a smile is nice. I love seeing that from my husband's and I example the boys are beginning to show an interest in knowing and engaging in people.

My favorite thing lately though is the random hugs. Oh melt my heart! HB and CJ will just randomly run up to me, give me a hug or a kiss and run on their merry way. I am so affectionate with my boys (as I know most parents are) and I feel like that feel they can give that same affection. Not just to me and my husband but to others. If CJ hears a child crying or sees someone that appears to be upset, he is sooo concerned. It is so sweet seeing their empathy and love towards people and I like to think I have something to do with that.

The last thing, but certainly in my eyes the most important. The boys have started praying. This makes my heart so happy. I have been praying with them for a long time and really wondered if they got it. One day I asked them to pray with me. Both of them put their hands together to pray. They stayed quiet as I said a prayer and when I said "In Jesus name, amen" HB tried to say amen. Insert heart eyed emoticon here. I melted and couldn't have been more proud.

It was at that moment I realized that they are taking in every single thing  we do and say. I "knew" that all along, but now I see it. And it is amazing. At the end of a stressful day, when I see their two happy, healthy and loving smiling faces, I know that I've done something right. I am so thankful for these two children of mine and so incredibly proud to be their momma.

Until next time friends! Hopefully it won't be 2 months ;)

~Nic

Pick something, and be good at it

When I was a kid I wanted to be a veterinarian.
When I was in middle school and high school, I wanted to be a teacher.
When I was in college (starting off), I wanted to be in real estate.
When I was still in college, I wanted to be a business owner.
When I got my Bachelors in Business, I wanted to one day own and run my parent's construction company.
Right before the babies came, I had my heart set on becoming a Speech Pathologist.

Since I've had the babies, I've had all of these wonderful ideas of what I am going to do....
Make burlap art and sell it.

Make money, blogging.
Change lives selling Herbalife (which I am still pursuing).
Become a nutritionist.
Get into Real Estate.

I guess looking back the main trend is that I want to help someone or something. My heart is for helping others. It always has been. I was so excited to start school for Speech Pathology. I knew I finally found my thing, what I was meant to do. However, the classes were in Orange County, and as my pregnancy went on, the long trek late at night was becoming too dangerous for me. I was exhausted and working full time. I just knew it was better for me mentally to take a step back from school. 

Please don't take this post wrong... I LOVE being home with my babies. I would be broken if I had to leave them. Being a working mom just isn't for me, and I am blessed that I get to stay home with my littles...however it doesn't come without some major emotional challenges.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately, and something I have realized about myself is that ever since I was 16 I have worked and gone to school. Besides one time in my life, right before our wedding, I have always done both. I have cursed it and be "so stressed I can't do it anymore" (in a desperate voice), but deep down I always loved the challenge. I love learning, and knowing that I can apply what I learn. So this is new to me. I feel like I am not using my brain enough, but, I am learning that is not the case.

Before I go off on a tangent (which is where the next paragraphs went until I deleted them, ha!), what I really want this post to be about is how to accept where you are in life. Sixteen months down the road from giving birth, you would think that I would already have this figured out, but I don't or I hadn't, until recently.

I truly believe that God calls on people to do certain things in their lives. Some people have amazing art talents, some people are great at spreading His word, some are great at saving people (medically speaking). I have been trying to find my "thing", what God has called me to do. Well, hello Nicole, I was blessed with two beautiful miracles. THAT is what my calling is, to be a stay at home momma to my boys. Maybe when they go to school, I can focus on something else, maybe not. I just need to be present and not so hooked on the future. It is great to have determination and drive and a dream, but don't get so caught up in it that you forget to live in the now.

That is something I am really working on. Living in the now, being present with my boys. Anything else is just a distraction, for me. Not everyone feels that way, and that is wonderful, but for me I just need to focus on my babes. I also need to accept that because I am stay at home mom doesn't mean that I will never have a career.

Lately, I have been so anxious, feeling that I need to take classes, I need to do this or that. "But what should I do? What is my calling?" Then I started thinking what if I just pick something I am interested in, and be good at it. Beyond being a momma, if I want to do something for extra money, or extra brain stimulation it doesn't have to be extraordinary, I am already doing something extraordinary, it can be anything that interests me. I just need to make sure I am good at it (because I am a perfectionist).

My title, just pick something and be good at it, means that sometimes we don't clearly see our calling in life. That's okay. If you can find something in life that drives you and makes you happy, put your heart into it. Maybe, just maybe that is where God wants you to be <3