When people in public realize that you have twins the questions start coming. I don't mind them one bit because who doesn't like to talk about their kids? I guess I should say the majority of questions or comments I really don't mind. Everyone is different so everyone's sensitivity level on the questions and comments will be different.
My husband and I have recently heard:
Better you than me!
Good luck! (but in a sarcastic way not a sweet way)
Double trouble!
You have your hands full!
You poor thing!
I know some of these sound harmless, and to be honest I usually don't get offended. However, it's when people use tones like they are trying to be cruel. Today I had a lady walk up to me and say "twins"? I smiled and said "yes" and she said "good luck, Hahahhaha", and walked away, laughing...no joke. I'm sure she meant it to be harmless but it is hurtful when I'm laughed at.
I guess it is just that I wish people would think about what their words mean. Like I said, most comments I truly don't mind. I understand that there is an interest in multiples because they are unique. I know before I had twins I was in awe of people with multiples. However, I never thought to make comments that could be harsh. The picture I posted above is really something that we mommies of multiples hear probably every time we go out in public. I want to respond with "Darn right better me than you if you have that attitude". Ha! I might think that but I'm not brave enough to say it ;) The whole better you than me, can be hurtful. They have no idea that for the first month of my sons' lives I was scared for their lives. They have no idea what it is like to carry twins and how that feels on your body. They have no idea that I sometimes I have let one baby cry so I can tend to the other. They don't know that I can't give all of my attention just to one of my sons, I have to share my time. Some of this goes for even moms multiple singletons. So those kinds of comments, although I know they are truly meant to be harmless, sometimes hurt. Maybe it is because people really just don't know what to say, so they spit out the first thing that comes to mind.
I guess it is just that I wish people would think about what their words mean. Like I said, most comments I truly don't mind. I understand that there is an interest in multiples because they are unique. I know before I had twins I was in awe of people with multiples. However, I never thought to make comments that could be harsh. The picture I posted above is really something that we mommies of multiples hear probably every time we go out in public. I want to respond with "Darn right better me than you if you have that attitude". Ha! I might think that but I'm not brave enough to say it ;) The whole better you than me, can be hurtful. They have no idea that for the first month of my sons' lives I was scared for their lives. They have no idea what it is like to carry twins and how that feels on your body. They have no idea that I sometimes I have let one baby cry so I can tend to the other. They don't know that I can't give all of my attention just to one of my sons, I have to share my time. Some of this goes for even moms multiple singletons. So those kinds of comments, although I know they are truly meant to be harmless, sometimes hurt. Maybe it is because people really just don't know what to say, so they spit out the first thing that comes to mind.
So if you come across a parent of multiples think about what you say before you comment and how it will sound. If you are a parent of multiples be prepared for these comments and take them with a grain of salt. Having multiples and/or singletons is such a blessing. Try not to let anyone take that joy from you. No matter how "full your hands" might be, remember your heart is just as full with love.
Until next time friends! God bless!
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