My Weakness

Summertime staples around my house are BBQs, bonfires, beers and chips and dip. Wouldn't you know, these are my weaknesses. Who doesn't like to enjoy some salty food with a couple beers on a hot summer day? I am definitely struggling to make changes in my diet. I think part of the problem for me is that I am still losing weight even though I am not making the best choices. I know that won't last forever and once I am done nursing the boys I can't make these food choices and still expect to lose weight.  I guess everyone struggles though in the beginning. Changes are not always easy especially when you are so used to doing things a certain way for so long.

The whole point of this blog was for me to be held accountable...although I am pretty sure I only have a couple readers..Hi Sam! Hi Mom! Hi B! I feel totally hypocritical since I know I don't make the best food choices... but I am trying. It is something that is constantly on my mind, and my little sister inspires me everyday whether she knows it or not. Seeing her transformation and dedication make me want that. I want to show my boys how to live a healthy life, being active and eating healthy. I want it for myself, I want to look in the mirror and not criticize what I see, I want to BE healthy and FEEL healthy. I'm not wanting this change to be skinny but to be fit and strong.

Well until next time....

Twin Mommy Breast Feeding Tips

So you know how when your pregnant, your body all of a sudden no longer is yours but everyone else's to talk about and touch? I was fortunate enough to never have a stranger reach out and rub my belly, I have no clue how I would have reacted, and I can honestly say if friends or family wanted to touch the belly I didn't mind. I liked sharing that specialness with the people I loved. I didn't really mind talking about my changing body either, I had a very easy pregnancy and even for twins my weight gain was steady, so this wasn't a sore subject for me. What I didn't like was talking about breast feeding twins...

When we found out there were two, I knew that I still wanted to breast feed. My amazing cousin could do it, and plenty of twin mommies before me did it, so could I. Here's the thing, breastfeeding twins is not easy "oh my baby is hungry let me just whip it (or shall I say them) out and feed him". No no no, with twins this is much different. Especially if you tandem feed. We will get to that a little later...

I would tell my husband how important breat feeding was to me, and he is the reason I was successful at it. Ladies your hubby or significant other will be your biggest fan, and if you have his support that is huge! My hubby was the only one I really felt comfortable talking about breast feeding with, or other twin mommies. The reason for this is because feeding twins felt more invasive than feeding a singleton, because people had questions. Well how will you do it? Oh at the same time? How do you do THAT? Ok people my boobs, my body. You don't ask a singleton mother how she breast feeds do you? I felt very vulnerable I guess. With all of that said, I truly do not mind talking about it now with certain people. I'm a little shy about it still yes, because it IS very different from feeding one baby, and because I feel like a milk cow, but it's how I feed my precious sons. People have questions, naturally, because it is different. However, it is what is making my babies so strong and I am proud that I can do it, for a while when they were in the NICU and the fact that I had two babies to feed, I doubted myself. I told myself if I can at least pump and get them breast milk that way  I would be stoked. 

When my babies ended up in the NICU the only thing I could do to help them was get them breast milk. So I pumped, and pumped and pumped and...you get the picture. The day after my surgery the lactation specialist at the hospital came in and showed my husband and I how to use the pump. My husband was SO AMAZING, he hooked up the pump each time I needed to pump, he charted at what time I pumped, he set alarms so in the middle of the night we could wake up and pump, he cheered me on when I got only a small amount. I remember being so upset those first few days only a little bit of milk came in. Of course I learned that is normal but as a new mom I was worried. Then I started producing more, but got stuck for a couple weeks only producing 2 ounces on each side, and I thought there is no way that was enough! Again my supply built up after that. At the time I worried I wouldn't produce enough, but I kept pushing. My babies were in the NICU. I was in so much pain from my csection, the only way I could help my sons was to give them what God gave me to make them thrive. So I pushed onward with my husband cheering me on. 

I started trying to breast feed the boys when we would visit the NICU. They were so tiny and had been bottle fed it was challenging teaching them how to nurse. Plus, I was learning too! So here's three inexperienced people trying something new, even with guidance we had to find our own groove. The NICU nurses would let me try for about 10 minutes and if that didn't work we would bottle feed (my breast milk). Preemies can get tired and overworked, and my main concern was getting them home so there were many times we resorted to the bottle. We also used something called a nipple shield. I saw this as a stepping stone to the real thing. It got them on the breast but simulated a nipple on a bottle. It helped, but I hated using it because it never failed that a baby would grab it and I would have to reposition it causing a baby to get upset and me to get frustrated. 

CJ got to come home first. So I worked with him single breast feeding, I was also still pumping every three hours religiously to keep my supply up. I would practice the football hold with him because when his brother got home that is how he would be eating. It was difficult. When you have a hungry, crying baby it's hard to stay focused. I did what the NICU nurses said, gave him a time limit and if we couldn't figure it out we bottle fed. If he did latch on (with the shield) I would give him a bottle after to make sure he got enough milk. 

To get rid of the shield I would start a feeding with it, and take it off mid feeding to "trick" the baby. It worked! I few times of that and no more shield! Yay! When my second son got home I practiced feeding the same way I did with his brother. He didn't really use the shield so that helped a lot. He was a good nurser from the beginning (for the most part). 

Then tandem feeding came into play. If you plan on tandem feeding I seriously suggest a twin nursing pillow. I used "My Brest Friend" twin nursing pillow. It's huge, and so worth it. Tandem feeding was hard. I remember the boys were both crying and hungry, I was getting discouraged but not willing to give up. I told them "look guys, mommy is determined to make this work, so you have to try too". I reached out to my twin mommy group for support, and it wasn't two days after that, that the boys got it. What an amazing feeling! We did it! It took about two weeks to get it down to a science and even still my one son has a small latching issue at times but we always get it. 

With tandem feeding you can't just nurse your babies in public when they are hungry. You have to find a descrete location to nurse. Unless you want to show the world your breast. Even if they latch well, having two on at a time is not something you can cover very easily. Yes you could do them separately and in certain situations that's what will have to be done, but feeding twins is so different from feeding one. The convenience of no bottles and never being stuck without food while your out is there, but unlike with a singleton you can't just feed wherever. It is something that makes me a little sad, but I'll talk about that in a different post. 

My tips for a new tandem or regular breast feeding mommy:

1. Don't give up! Its hard but you can do it! 

2. Know that in those first few weeks your body will only produce a small amount and that's because that is all your baby needs. 

3. Lean on your support system, they will make or break you. 

4. Ask for help! It's not easy! For something that is "natural" it is very difficult. 

5. Pump to keep your supply up. I pumped every 3 hours even through the night, my freezer is full of breast milk instead of regular food. Ha! 

6. If tandem feeding, invest in a twin feeding pillow. Mine has little grooves in it to hold the baby close to me. I also like it because while I'm trying to get one on it prevents the other from rolling off.

7. If you need to call a lactation specialist, they are there to help.

8. If nursing twins I highly suggest working with them one on one at first so you and babies can get it. 

9. Be patient, it takes time. 

10. Don't give up (did I already say this?) 

I know it's not easy for everyone. In the end you have to do what is mentally and physically right for you and your baby. A happy momma makes for a happy baby. 

Tandem burping! I'm getting the hang of this ;) 

So it's been a few days

I'll be honest, I lost a little inspiration or motivation over the last few days. I started making not so great of food choices and feeling like I needed to regroup...So here I am. For me, the journey of making healthier food choices starts in my head. I think about the changes I want to make for a while and then I start to incorporate them into my day to day routine. It has to be a mental commitment and I have to accept the fact that every journey has a starting point. I won't be able to wake up one morning and make healthy choices  at every single meal on that first day, it takes time. I know that once I start making more healthy choices that my body will crave healthy food. I've done it before, I can do it again.

So my day started off with feeding my boys and they were gracious enough to be happy and content while I made myself blueberry pancakes, made with oat flour and protein powder. These were so good and I liked them a lot more than my strawberry ones. 

Yes I used powdered sugar on my healthy pancakes... Baby steps right? My friend came over and took some AMAZING pictures of my boys. When she left I realized I had a little while before the hooligans woke up and demanded a feeding so I made myself an ever so healthy half quesadilla, with chips...and as if that wasn't good enough, I decided those chips needed to be nachos...OUT OF CONTROL! What happened to "you make a good choice in the morning and you will for the rest of the day"? Oh and then I had a brownie. Oy, one healthy meal right? Baby steps...so after that ever so healthy lunch I ate, I felt pretty bad for eating that poorly and decided I would be good for dinner. I made myself chicken, steamed broccoli and sauteed onions in coconut oil. So yummy! 

I must say I am proud of myself for this one. An easy meal? Yes. However, for someone who doesn't cook, I was please with how yummy this turned out. My desert (because I have a sweet tooth that won't leave me alone lately), I'll make myself a shake with mixed berries and Greek yogurt...that outta curve my craving.

As a side note, when I call my babies hooligans it is out of much love. They are the light of my life, and although demanding, I wouldn't change one second with them. I just like to use a little humor. Being a mommy to twins has shown me what I am made of. I am stronger than I ever thought and have more love in my heart than I knew existed, for not only my babies, but for my husband as well. Having newborns is no joke. You learn to be selfless instead of selfish. When you focus on the smiles it makes the sleepless nights, the worry, the spit up, being peed on and pooped on all worth it ;)

Until next time!

~Nic

Amazing Banana Fro Yo and a little recap

The last couple days have been hard. I think the lack of sleep is catching up with me. The boys are entering into a new stage where they are awake more often, I LOVE it! This means more smiles and cooing! However it also means less time for me to do anything remotely normal during my day. Today though, is a better day. I feel it!

So let us start with when things started to go down hill...Wednesday I was pretty tired all day. Feel very discouraged about food choices and how I am trying to balance eating right and eating at all during the day. So feeling discouraged I decided to make a dish called strada, and no its not healthy, but its delicious and I thought, tomorrow is another day. So as I am making my dish, I get to the part where it calls for pepper. Instead of measuring it like I should have, I thought, oh just eye ball it...and this is what happened:

Yes my pepper ended up in the eggs...go me! So I had to throw the pepper away because egg got into the pepper. Grrrrrr!

Flash forward to yesterday, another day of pure exhaustion. However, I decided I wouldn't be defeated in the kitchen. I'll admit I didn't make healthy choices ALL DAY, but I did make a healthy dinner and for that I was proud (as a side note: it takes time to make changes, so any small change in the right direction I feel is a good one). Ground turkey tacos, num nums! As I am making dinner, CJ of course needs me to hold him or he won't calm down so I decided to outsmart him! I got out the Baby Bjorn and plopped him in it! You are not stopping momma from what she is doing this time! I was HUNGRY! So as I sit down to eat this dinner I made, H starts fussing, and when he fusses I know he actually needs  something. So I held him and he fell right back to sleep on my chest (awwwe, I love these moments so much!). I was able to finish eating finally. I decided to sanitize the babies' little nose sucker thing (they had colds). So I turn on the stove and start boiling the germs off the nose sucker things and a pacifier. Then I think oh while the boys are sleeping I'll do the dishes. I grabbed the pan I made dinner in and 5, 4, 3, 2, 1......OUCH!!!!!!!!

My poor hubby walks in and I'm hunched over the sink crying and CJ is reaching his breaking point in the swing. Did I need to cry about the burn? I'm not really sure, but I did and it felt good! After about an hour of pain, trying to get the heat out, figuring out how to nurse both of the boys with one bunk hand...my mom showed up and nursed my hand back to tolerating levels. Oh and somewhere in between trying to get the heat out of my hand with honey, I dropped an apple sauce container on the floor and it broke open, of course! 

After the madness subsided and I was able to calm down, I made myself this AMAZING desert. I've been craving sweets, and this was so perfect. All it takes is bananas, unsweetened cocoa powder, peanut butter (or almond), and protein powder (if you want). I can't take credit for this because I am not creative in the kitchen at all...this recipe was one that I got from Pintrest, but you can also see the original post here: The Not Quite Vegan (with pictures).

Banana FroYo

1 serving

2 frozen bananas (sliced THEN put in the freezer, unless you are really smart like me and put a full banana in the freezer hoping you could cut it after)

1 Tablespoon Peanut Butter

1/2 Tablespoon Cocoa Powder

1 Scoop Protein Powder (Vanilla)

I used a blender and it had a hard time with the frozen bananas, so...in a food processor, blend bananas until a frozen yogurt consistency, add Peanut Butter, Cocoa Powder and Protein. Blend some more until mixed together. Then enjoy! SO delish!

 

That's me, enjoying my AMAZING Banana FroYo, with my classy bandage on my hand

Now off to do Pilates while my babies do tummy time. Does it count if they are sleeping? Ha!

*edit- did I say I was going to do Pilates? H woke up and I can't figure out how to hook my iphone up to the tv!