The Eagle Eye

Let me tell you about my babies...Mr. CJ is my red haired little feisty guy. He's the one who during my pregnancy was usually harder to find during the NSTs because he moved all around and was SO LOW (they said), he's the one who broke my water at 34 weeks and 3 days (too soon for momma), and the one who came home from the NICU before his brother. My sweet little H is so incredibly mellow. He was not done cooking when his brother decided it was time to enter the world, well neither of them were really, but little H had a much harder time coming around. These boys are the light of my life and I LOVE their different personalities. H is so low key. This kid would be fine if I put him in a room all by himself. He would sit there and coo and grunt and giggle and smile at Angels all day, except for when he needs a diaper change and he is hungry. Mr. CJ on the other hand...well this guy is a little more, shall we say social. He really thrives on attention! He is also very attached to momma. Which brings me to the Eagle Eye. 

It cracks me up. CJ watches my every move, and the second he can't see his momma, he spits out his pacifier (if he has one) and cries. So I have to come over and make sure everything is right in the world or CJ again. Oh and how in the world does that child know when I walk out of the bedroom at night??? His eyes will be closed so I'll sneak out, and sure enough, no sooner do I sit on the couch does he start fussing. However, if I stay in the room he falls riiight to sleep. Is he playing me like a fiddle? Probably, and I will one day have to let him cry and fuss (I do now but no longer than a few minutes), but for the time being I'm okay being wanted. Even if I'm in the middle of trying I make myself a meal. 

Having twins it is hard to split your time evenly. I do my best. When you have one that needs a little more attention it is so hard to not feel guilty that the other isn't getting as much time. So what do I do? When CJ is sleeping or content, I'll pick up H and hold him and kiss him even if he is just fine because I feel like that time is special and needed. I'll set their boppies up next to each other and talk to both of them, they will coo and smile and I'll soak in every moment because even though I'm exhausted on a whole new level (from late night feedings, and running back and forth to CJ) I know these moments are fleeting. 

My babies won't always want to cuddle, they won't always stalk me with their eyes as I try to get things done during the day, and one day momma won't be so cool. So right now, through exhaustion, even though I'm being watched by the Eagle Eye, I smile because my babies make me feel like the most important person in the world, and in their world I am.