It's been a year!

A year ago today, my husband and I were driving away from the NICU with our almost 1 month old, five pound baby.  Our hearts were broken as we had to leave his brother behind because he was not well enough to come home. We were so excited, scared and many other things. Excited to FINALLY have part of our heart home with us, scared he would stop breathing in the night or end up back in the NICU, and sad to be leaving his twin brother behind.

As I was rocking the boys tonight and singing to them, CJ looked up at me as he usually does, and started "singing" with the biggest smile on his face. Wow, what a difference a year has made in their little lives and ours. I fought back tears, my heart is so full.

When the boys were born my first memory of CJ is looking over and seeing him being worked on. I didn't hear him cry. I just saw this tiny little thing they were pumping oxygen into with one of those blue puffy things. He wasn't moving, and although I don't remember what the nurses were saying I do remember the sense of urgency in the room.

Going through what we went through as NICU parents, forever changed us. Those little boys of ours, are our whole hearts. We learned what a true fighter is. We learned to lean on our faith, and that the power of prayer is an amazing thing that can carry you when you feel like you are at the edge of nowhere.

This year of having CJ home has been such a blessing. He is definitely my strong willed child! I've learned patience, I've learned that "a little dirt don't hurt" (I am a germ-a-phob, but with two boys...you get the picture), I've learned that when he looks at me I feel like I am the most important thing in the world and that I've never been more proud of anything in my life (that goes for he and his brother).

I thank the Lord every night for trusting my husband and I enough to raise a great man who will know Him. So thankful for this little miracle.