You are Beautiful

Go back to a time in your life that you felt the most beautiful or of value. When was that?

For me, my wedding day was a day I felt beautiful. My self value was placed in working, family, friendships and school.

When I became a mom, my whole world changed. I went from working woman with a degree working a nine to five,  to stay at home mom being on call 24/7. It was a huge change for me, physically and mentally. Over time, I valued myself less, I saw what other women were accomplishing and it made me happy for them, but sad for me. I was slowly losing that feeling of value on the inside. I constantly compared myself to people on IG. Well she has two kids and can do that or why don't I have the energy to workout like she does?   I LOVE being stay at home mom, but it does not come without challenges. Some women handle it wonderfully while others really struggle. I wouldn't change my circumstances, ever, but I want people, women especially, who are struggling with value and self worth to know that they are not alone.

I went through my instagram and deleted everyone I did not know. Even the ones I felt were inspirational, I would see their post and be inspired and then instantly bummed I wasn't doing the same thing in my life.  I do have to say I am in a better place now than I was even a month ago. Mentally I am not beating myself up for not being this momma who works out daily, runs her own business and keeps a working household.  Here's the thing though, God made us all so different. I don't have endless amounts of energy, some people do, and that is awesome. I am not super organized like I used to be and that's okay too. I keep my house clean, my boys fed and happy, I play with them and teach them manners. I am usually last on my roster of things to take care of but that's the season I am in.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the Heaven. 

What a great reminder that I don't have to do it all or be all right now to have value or beauty. My season is here at home, focusing on my boys, my husband and my household. I am good with that.

I am working on making time for me. Hence, this little space to share my stories, or the 20 minutes I gave myself to pump a little iron, or the nap I let myself take because I am mentally exhausted. Ladies, do what makes you happy. Love yourself. Give yourself a break that you aren't what we see all over instagram. I am not talking down on these incredible IG accounts because I think what they do is awesome, but ladies, our circumstances are different our season is different. One day you might have energy to conquer the world and the next maybe you want to sleep in and just make sure the kitchen is clean.

We need to learn to love ourselves and our seasons. Once I started to shift my focus to the fact that I am in a different season and one day I'll have my energy back I started to view myself differently. Instead of seeing this lazy, over worked and underpaid momma (aren't we all, ha!), I saw a beautiful wife, a loving friend and a devoted mother. It's not easy, but don't let what you think you aren't take away from what you really are.

You are BEAUTIFUL and you are VALUABLE.