Even Steven

"Mommy, I want you to rub my back just like you rubbed Unter's"

"Mommy, say exactly what you said to him, to me"

These are a few phrases I have been hearing lately. I know that any mom can relate to the feeling of "am I giving enough to both (or all) of my children?" I know we all try our hardest to be fair, to give our whole selves to each of those sweet babies of ours.

With twins, that need to be fair, do the same thing for one as you do for the other, spend equal amounts of time and energy seems to be so in your face. There is constant comparison even if it's not coming from the parent. It's coming from parent's friends, it's coming from peers, and from strangers (I cannot tell you how many times I hear "oh that one has this and the other one doesn't). These comments are meant well, I know they are. However, my son's hear comparison and the older they get the more it plays into day to day things.

The boys are fraternal, so they don't look alike.
I think it is so incredible to have such different looking twins. When they were younger, Hunter struggled with not having red hair. It broke my heart, because if he could just see himself the way I see him, he would undoubtedly know how amazing he is with his beautiful brown hair. Lately Colton has been struggling with if I give Hunter a compliment why I didn't give him the same compliment. I try my hardest to explain that they are different boys and each special snuggle, or back rub, or compliment is special to them and they don't have to have exactly the same thing all the time.

It's. so. hard. sometimes.

I never want either one of them to feel less loved. Most parents would agree that each child you have will require some change ups in how you parent them. After all, they aren't all the same. One child might demand more attention *aahhemmm* I have one of those, one might not need as much guidance, one might be unsure of himself, the list goes on.

I do know that I try, to give special attention even when it's not asked for. I try to sneak a kiss attack for no reason, or just say "hey I love you". I am trying to help them see that they are so uniquely made by our amazing Creator and that it's okay to not be the exact same, or have the exact same.

I'm telling you guys, this has been a challenge with twins. They are different kids and siblings like everyone else, except they have been together since birth. They have shared everything, so making this break up has proven to be hard.

Anyone else with twins go through this? Any twins gone through this?

I pray I am navigating this correctly and that at the end of the day even if they felt like brother got something different or more of, that they know without a doubt how much I love them.

photos by my super talented friend: Casey Torres