Keeping the Faith

Being a Christian doesn't mean that because you have faith life events are easy to deal with. It's easy to have faith when things are wonderful and there are no trials in your life. However, when you throw in some trials, keeping the faith sometimes becomes a challenge. 

I've been a Christ follower all of my life. Of course, as an adult you understand what that mean on a deeper level, but I have alway believed that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. It wasn't until I became an adult though, that I really understood what it meant to lean on Him when I couldn't see through the storm. Trials look different for each person, and I cannot say I've had horrible life experiences, because I truly haven't, but that doesn't mean trials in my life haven't been hard or painful. 

When my parents divorced after 25 years of marriage it rocked my world. As the child, it came out of the blue. It was hard. It hurt. My foundation was shattered. I felt betrayed. However, through that hard time my faith grew and is still growing years later. 

When my twins were born early, I struggled in my faith. Not that I blamed God for what we had been through but I felt so far from Him. I asked for prayers, I felt peace but I couldn't pray myself. I felt unheard. The two years following their birth I struggled. Church felt impossible, we tried to go and it was so hard. They were exclusively breast fed. Have you tried nursing twins in public? Yeah not easy.  I was (as my cousin once said) perpetually exhausted. We rarely left the comfort of our home or my mom's house. The disconnect grew. 

I longed for my soul to be fed but I wasn't getting it.

Finally at the end of 2015 we started going back to church and found our church home. We joined a community group/ bible study together and it's been awesome for our faith. Just a few weeks ago we went over James 1:2-4 

2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 

This verse made me reflect back on my times when I was struggling and how I let my faith alter. I ALWAYS believed, that was never my issue but my relationship with the Lord was stagnant. I wasn't being fed because I wasn't seeking Him. However, He was always working in me even when I felt far from Him. 

Our family is facing some things that aren't easy, some unknowns for the future and changes. It's not easy. It would be easier to turn inward, put our noses down and grind on, but I don't want to. I know that when I face trials and I turn from the Lord my life is that much harder, but when I lean on Him and KNOW He has a better plan at the end of this hard time, it's makes these trials easier to walk through. 

That's not to say I'm not stressed, that I'm not grumpy and that I'm full of joy all the time because I'm definitely not. Ask my husband, ha! However I know everything will be okay. There is a light in Him and everything will be okay.